Sandy was tired of her world. Drudging to the overworked menial office job she hated left her little time for a life. And more and more her friends peeled off after getting married and having kids, leaving her alone on her hellish daily treadmill.
The nightmare of dating became an endless game of Duck, Duck, Goose. She’d meet someone at work, in line at Starbucks or through a friend and continue on an endless cycle of first dates without a goose to chase. Only ducks in a bad rerun of one continuous bad date with interchangeable men boring her with their doldrum personalities.
Repetitive explanation of job…blah, blah, blah. Read that book… blah, blah, blah. Watched this movie… blah, blah, blah. Live with mother… blah, blah, blah.
Miserably sitting at yet another bridal shower, she confided in her friend Gail.
“I’ve been dating for two decades. I figured it out. It’s been nearly 2,100 dates. At this rate, my chances of winning the lottery are better than finding a husband. Where is he? Where’s my happy ending?”
“You should try this new website. That’s where she found her husband,” Gail said showing the website on her phone.
“Whitepicketfence.com? Is this for real?” Sandy shot her a sideways glance.
“Yes. It’s specifically designed for singles who want to settle down and not just hookup. She was only on it 1 month and look where we are now,” Gail nodded.
“I hate these online matchmakers, but I guess it’s worth a try. Nothing else has worked.”
That night Sandy spent hours perfecting her profile pictures in photoshop to show a happy, well-adjusted, well-rounded women looking for a home, family and white picket fence.
By the next morning, her DM’s were filled with potential prospects waiting to connect.
“Wow, I must have done a bang-up job on this profile. This can’t be real. It’s too good. There are some really good-looking guys on here with good jobs. And not one mother roommate in the bunch!” Sandy said elated.
It was a whirlwind. For three weeks, Sandy went on a series of first dates until she met Bryan and immediately fell in love with his wit, humor and superhero good looks.
Flying on air, she met Gail for happy hour to tell her over drinks.
“He looks like he was crafted from a superhero mold. Wavy blond hair, square jaw, sparkling blue eyes and six-foot worth of muscles and abs. He sings, dances and the best part… he’s a veterinarian who believes in being at the dinner table every night. Oh and he cooks. It’s insane,” Sandy explained in glee.
“That does good. Lock that down as soon as you can,” Gail urged.
Fast forward 10 years. Sandy and Gail meet again at Saturday brunch.
“You look wonderful Sandy,” Gail said. “Seems like I never get to see you anymore. It’s been years.”
“I know. I’m sorry. But Gail, I’m so happy I can hardly stand it. I’m a busy mom taxi and I love it. Jaden is in soccer and band and Maya is playing basketball and joined a dance troupe. And Bryan took on a partner, so he’s home with us a lot. And here’s a picture of our house.” She held her phone to Gail showing pictures.
“I see you opted for the traditional white picket fence,” Gail smiled.
“Yes, it’s really a wonderful life,” Sandy said.
“Too bad your time is up,” Gail said in a matter-of-fact voice.
“What are you talking about silly. I feel great,” Sandy laughed.
“Huh, you did sign up for the ten-year plan, didn’t you?” Gailsaid.
“What?” Sandy asked.
“On whitepicketfence.com. They had five- and ten-year family plan options. You get your perfect family for ten years and then they go back,” Gail explained.
“You’re putting me on. Where would they go back to?” Sandy laughed.
Gail’s face turned sullen and she abruptly grabbed Sandy’s hand.
“Sandy, didn’t you read the terms and conditions on the site?”
“Of course not. It’s just a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo – they all are,” Sandy said and her eyes grew big. “Right?”
Gail stared directly at Sandy.
“I thought you understood. The deal is a decade of pure happiness in exchange for your soul.”
“Oh, you almost had me going. You bad girl. That only happens in movies,” Sandy laughed.
Gail grabbed both her hands.
“No. It’s real. Look at the website. Natas is the name of the company. N.A.T.A.S is the reverse of SATAN!”
Sandy panicked, grabbing her phone to quickly bring up the website and began furiously reading.
“Oh my God! How is this possible? I bore those children. They’re mine. I have the stretch marks to prove it.”
“The family plan. Ten years of happiness,” Gail said.
“No. I’m not going to do it! I don’t care,” Sandy said running out of the restaurant.
As Gail’s words echoed in her head, Sandy raced back to her home to find her children and husband in their home.
“Oh good. You’re still here. That Gail is a cutup.” She sighed in relief.
“Hi honey. We’ve been waiting for you. Here’s the receipt for the 10-year family plan. We have to go now,” Bryan kissed her on the cheek as he, Jaden and Maya walked past Sandy toward the door waving goodbye.
“No, you can’t leave. No!” Sandy cried out and closed her eyes. Then she opened her eyes and lifted her head from her cubicle desk and saw her boss standing above her.
“Sandy. I’m not going anywhere, I’m just looking for that report on fence prices,” her boss asked. “Are you ok?”
“No. I’m definitely not ok. I was, but not anymore.” She plopped her head back on the desk.
(c) Suzanne Rudd Hamilton 2023
SUZANNE RUDD HAMILTON 