Gazing at her son’s graduation picture sitting next to his wedding photo on her piano, Kate smiles at her grown up son, now 30 years old. Then her phone rings. It’s Brandon. He often calls on his way home from work just a chat.
“Mom, Carrie’s very depressed that we can’t get pregnant. I don’t know what she’s going to do next. Her mood swings are really difficult. I’m trying to be supportive, but it’s hard to handle,” Brandon says.
“I’m so sorry, honey. It really stinks. But you’ll work it out together,” Kate sympathizes.
As she listens to his plight, she’s gutted that he’s having a difficult time. While she’s grateful he includes her in his life, she feels powerless to help him.
Kate hangs the phone and sighs. She really wants to tell him what she thinks he should do, but she knows all she can do is listen and give him empathy. She longs for the days when she could easily solve his problems. A Band-Aid, a call to the school, or a nightly homework session. Everything seemed fixable then.
Her husband Greg walks in on her daydreaming, staring at Brandon‘s 5th grade picture and instinctively recognizes the expression on her face.
“Brandon still having trouble with Carrie?” he asks. Kate nods solemnly and put Brandon’s picture down.
“Trying to get pregnant is making them miserable. They need to just either give up or adopt,” Greg says, annoyed at the situation.
Kate had a strict rule, if her son didn’t ask for advice, she didn’t give it. It was a line she wouldn’t cross.
“We can’t solve his problems anymore. He’s an adult. It’s his responsibility to run his own life,” Kate cautions.
Greg disagrees. “But they’re not making the right choices.”
“You mean they’re not making the choices you would make,” she counters.
“What’s the difference? They’d be happier,” he argues.
“The difference is, we’re not driving the bus anymore, he is. I’m just glad to be invited to ride along. If we try and take over, we’re gonna get kicked off the bus and then he won’t share his life with us,” Kate explains.
Greg shakes his head in frustration and turns on the TV to end the conversation.
A few weeks later, Brandon calls again. Since Greg is there too, she puts Brandon on speaker. “Dad’s here too, honey.”
“Great. Hey guys, I have some news. Carrie and I talked it out and we’ve put in an application with an adoption agency.”
Kate secretly wants to scream hooray, but knows they need to keep calm. But instead Greg bursts out. “Finally!”
Kate gives him a look and tries to cover for him.
“That’s great, honey. How does that work?”
“We go into a global database and when there is a child available, they will interview us and let us know. They told us it could be a long time or a short time. They just don’t know.”
Afraid of what Greg might say, she quickly chimes in. “Well this is a good first step and we’ll all hope the call comes sooner than later,” Kate says.
After a little more chitchatting, she hangs up the phone and Greg smirks. “OK you were right. They came to the right conclusion on their own.”
Kate shakes her head and laughs. “They came to the right conclusion for them, you mean. Look, if you get kicked off this bus, I’m staying on without you.” Greg chuckles.
“OK. I’ll try not to get kicked off the bus.” He concedes. “ People think parenting kids is tough. Parenting adults is harder.”
(C) copyright 2026, Suzanne Rudd Hamilton
SUZANNE RUDD HAMILTON 